| I'm not dead, just forgetful |
[March 17, 2008] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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'The King and the Clown' showed up in the mail today, unwrapped, perfect in all store bought awesomeness to my own childesh glee I am still probably going to bounch around the house for several more hours before it sinks in that it's mine. Ah, my weird movie collection. Still haven't been able to find the 3iron movie though. Damn, that one is very artistic and awesome too. Any hints anyone?
Besides this; I sat beside and finally got to talk to someone I've been meaning and wanting to talk to for weeks at work. Didn't know he's be such a causual and awesome guy. We talked about books and how our keyboards were more or less incrediably filty to the point I got myself paranoid enough to clean mine. I was also called Cole by one of the supervisers. This wouldn't have bothered me except I wasn't aware of being called 'Cole' until the girl finally poked me in the shoulder while addressing me. I got my work bingo card anyway though and the kudos for having a hat on hatday.
There's a lot I want to be able to do for my dad, like find entertaining things he can do while he's off work and be able to help make funds for paying the bills while he is off work. I wasn't asked too, but I feel with mom gone and felecia pulling a strange disappearing act again today that I might as well stuff my hand into the pot and make life a little easier on everyone. Certainly I don't want him to worry at all or for us to drive back into the road of debt. After 77calls in eight hours, I couldn't stand to stay any longer. I'll work overtime some other day. Right now I want to let my brain rest so I don't kill the artist inspiration I've been ignoring lately.
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| sorry for not posting in so long, please let me know you're okay |
[March 04, 2008] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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If there was ever a better way to picture me right now. THAT'S IT.
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| Of really no point or relevence. |
[February 18, 2008] |
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music |
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I need you - Noblesse |
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So I've been thinking/dreaming lately of how to re-do the story 'Of Ashes - To Ashes' which I was sketching out back in 2005. My biggest problem was that back then I didn't really think of detail [ see here - http://tn3-2.deviantart.com/fs8/300W/i/2005/298/7/5/Li_Swong_by_Harukachan.jpg] that I put effect into drawing there's a little of little chains and beats that are going to literally kill my hand to re-draw in my 2008 style. At work it took me a full shift just to get a rough-draft and even that was from the waist up. I don't think I even started to ink it? Whatever. I was thinking of throwing in some new characters to it as Mat has been teaching me the wonderfulness that is the secondary character and how despite how easily they are to kill off, we do actually need to have them there in the first place and a reason for it besides enevitable death. Bad spelling is do to poor circulation in my hands and that I'm trying to type in a cold house right next to the window. TNX. Just thuoght I'd throw that big of info in there.
I also want to re-do the 'Ka' story, at least the first couple pages. I haven't found the time yet. EMI, I'M SO SORRY! I HAVEN't FORGOTTEN.
Haven't been doing any of the projects I'm suppose to be. Ah. I'm a horrible person! PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
So far my shopping list only includes socks. Yeah. I'm bad at that too, but we don't really need much.
I want to buy some anime dvd's or maybe the first series of heroes if I can manage to find it again. Maybe music world did cope out and not close after all. Ah. I'm done rambling about this.
Ramily like ramblings. ( Read more... )
This weekend I'm just going to try and relax, work on my art the moment we get the heat back on tuesday and then hang out with Mat and hopefully drag him over to see Feshy at work and get some more of that awesome chicken stuff even though she has told me that she doesn't like friends visiting her there. Apparently, I'm the only one that's acceptable. Again, I feel special.
I really need that lately with the absense of certain people, family mostly I think. Just that recognition that I'm wanted and loved by the people around me - and thank goodness I have Feshy to tell me that everytime we see eachother.
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| Maze lyrics are awesome FWI |
[February 15, 2008] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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( Read more... )
"In our world there are allots of things that can not be explained. we will never understand how or what happend. if i tell you a secret will you stop thinking about what or why i wonder, let me tell you the secret. Magic does exist beacuse i found you. dont tell anyone" - Lasaro. Deviantart.
Be honest. Be harsh. Rock me back to a safe reality where things make sense if you can - even if it hurts, I'll end up thanking you when all is said and done.
As a sidenote to all thise bitchyness and probably only hormonal created throughts, I have been thinking about what Felecia said about BS and my answer to her idea of having me come visit for a month. 'I'd never leave.' Was my answer. I might just go with her, who knows? My frustration might simply be from not spreading my wings lately.
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| And they were rocking the boat. WOOSH! |
[February 12, 2008] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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Silenced love 1 |
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- Keep a tight hold of those happy memories, and forget everything else. Remembering should bring only smiles to a persons face and seldom tears, unless they are tears of laughter or other positive reaction.
That's all I have to say today except that - I CAN FREAKING WALK ON MY OWN AGAIN! I'm so happy.. I still have this little hobble and can't quite sit on the computer in the most comfortable way of having one ankle under the opposite knee [least not the one I'd prefer.], but it's only a matter of time. I'm so happy I can't stop smiling despite the cold and some dark thoughts that are leaking into my mind.
I have to go to work again today and miss each and every one of my online friends dearly, I've been lacking communication with you so much, but you can still text my phone if you'd like and I'll answer on breaks. <3 Don't quite understand how to setup AIM or forwarding IM on these things, but will hopefully figure that out soon too - and if anyone has some hints to get it working then that would be grand.
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[February 12, 2008] |
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mood |
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 content |
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http://kewch.insanejournal.com/ <- for the amusement of one. Feel free to add me if you wander across this, or even insane-journal. I'm always welcome to new friends and interesting people to talk/read about. Haha. Of course, I'll continue to update here just as frequently. You guys can't get rid of me that easily!
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It looks really sloppy and unfinished now that I take a second look at it, but I still am very fond of this piece since it didn't take me nearly as long as I thought it would and I was rather amused by clouds. Yes, I still really like those clouds as a matter of fact since they probably took the least effort.
Paintchat-image below.
( Read more... )
This is really only posted for those who haven't seen it on my DA yet, but I don't mind spamming the web if it gets me some critique and gives me a reason to forget posting the other horrible pile and mess I have building up behind me. *Glares at scanner*
Anyway.
My ankle hurts extremely from trying to walk with the bruise, certainly if it wasn't around my ankle it wouldn't ache so bad, but that's something I'm just going to have to deal with. It's time for rest and relaxation now and I'm hobbling off to my nice warm comfy bed alone to cacoon myself in just the favorite way I like too.
Oh. I also found the book I was looking for even though it did take me seven trips up the stairs before I remembered to actually pick it up. Lawl. Silly moment.
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[February 10, 2008] |
http://kewch.insanejournal.com/
I'll keep this journal here too -because I have memories and people here I don't want to forget, but I will also be posting there too.
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| When did DA go to shits [aka backup server?] |
[February 09, 2008] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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Kelly needs to call or text or email me to let me know she is okay before I start to pull my hair out in frustration. There's something I need to ask and it's been bugging me all week and I just want to tell her verbally though and I don't want too, since I'm scared. XD I'm always scared when I really care about something.
I drew my sister a fantastic picture in more reference to her style then my own, or more like the very early style I have in my DA. Also have a bunch of doodles from work that I'm in love with and want to post soon.
Bowen tried to take me to a movie after work the other day, but I rejected the idea in a way I thought very kindly and instead we ended up hanging out at the pizza place for an hour before going our seperate way homes. It's really unnerving his crush sometimes....Since, well... COME ON! How many times has Amanda mentions it? Arg. She needs to come find me at work so we can sit together. I can't stand another one sided conversation about hockey or final fantasy that I've already heard. Give me something new, something fresh, and stop trying to impress me by dragging on a topic long after it stopped being interesting!
<< Maybe I'm the boring one?
There's nothing else to say. Simply. I'm tired and it's sunday.
Who wants to come up with a fun name for insane journal for me?
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[January 21, 2008] |
Nine days until I'm back at work - or so this is what people tell me.
I miss you all very much. I miss my girlfriend and can't wait until tomorrow, but today is just as great too.
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| stolen bits of K.A.T.S lawl. |
[January 21, 2008] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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KAT-TUN |
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Loving you, uhuh... &heart;
I miss you, uhuh...
To family
You make me feel like the center of the world the way you include me in your daily activities, with the gentle way you hug me and call me adorable and are so profoundedly honored by the easy way I can burst out laughing at the smallest things you do and tell me. How you are always willing to try out new things and share in the games that I play without mocking me for them, and if you do then it's never cruel. You are my sister - you are the second half of my soul, and without you I don't think I would have surivved to become so whole.
To lover and friends, and strangers and everyone else - I hope I translated this alright.
Loving you, uhuh... &heart;
I miss you, uhuh...
Kono ore wo saigo made aishitsudzukeru koto ga hontou ni dekiru ka douka dake wo shiritakatta. Suki ni natteshimau mousou ga itsuka...Ubawareru koto dake ni furueteita okubyou na ore no kokorogoto ushiro kara daitekureta. Aishiteru
, ureshii toki ni mo, kurushii toki demo
ore ga kono yo ni umareta no wa kimi ni deau tame
Translated: For someone like me, until the end to keep loving me, I really just want to know if it's possible or not. I'm always paranoid you'll end up liking someone else...Only the thought of you being stolen away makes me tremor like a coward then you gave this heart an embrace from behind. I love you, during happy times and even the painful times.
I was born into this world for the sake of meeting you
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[January 16, 2008] |
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mood |
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 delirious |
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Going to have a catscan done today to see whether or not I cracked my hip along with enflaming and pulling every legiment in my left leg. Already asked for extra med leave, which I don't think will be a problem getting - just not being at work is driving me absolutely insane. In good news, my wig for Tsukasa [THANKYOU SO FREAKING MUCH FOR HELPING ME PICK IT UP KISA-CHAN!] arrived and my sister and I both adore it and have worn it around the house. Felecia promises to teach me how to sew and play guitar during the days off she has, so with that and the persona game and my comic coming along very slowly with I'm not high on pain killers I'm suriviving this cabin fever.
<3
Love you all and miss you greatly.
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| how to drive me insane in three simple words |
[January 06, 2008] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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- Don't move anymore -
Being unable to walk for three days can be quite a pain. I enflames something that's called the scabulant? Hell if I can spell it, apparently it's what connects the muslce and legament from your hip bone to your knee and runs right across the outside. So needless to say putting any weight on this side of my body for the last three weeks has resulted in a great deal of pain, I finally fell to the pain after newyears and had my dad drive me up to the hospital where I was told to take advil and not move, because nothing except time would heal this. Yummy. So that's what I've been doing. Thankyou so much for the people who've been able to call and all the support I've been giving, espessially the wonderfully distracting phone-call from my girlfriend that ended up killing my cellphone the other night. <3 I was praying she'd call yesterday too and BOOM. "HI LOVE!" Haa. I think my parents were getting annoyed.
One or two more days of rest and then I'll try to get back on my feet and get to work. The hard part is over now, I just have to get the muscle used to working again and take it easy.
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[January 01, 2008] |
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What the hell did we change the institution password too? I know it's some drink I hate, but for the love of me I can't remember and I really don't want it to be deleted.
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| I love my kitten - both of them. lmfao. |
[December 30, 2007] |
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mood |
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 excited.creative.cold |
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music |
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Shortcut - Mute |
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If you want to me to sometime in a desinated time line when you know I'm working extreme hours, maybe pay me or give me enough incentive to stay home from work long enough to do it in some other way? Four weeks to paint on plastic with acrylic paint is not really working out in anyones favor, espessially when it takes five layers before you can actually figure out what I'm drawing. Still don't think it's going to stay ifyou drop even an ounch of water on it so have to find a way to save that.
Yes. I'm an artist - and if I say garfield is not that shade of orange then I sure as hell am not going to paint it like that no matter how much you make fun of my so called 'artistic-eye' If you want it to look go then leave me the fuck alone and let me do it.
People telling me not to put so much effort into certain art projects really pisses me off, since it gives me the feeling like they really don't care as much as they should. And to quote the person behind this project 'It's a gift'.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everything has been finished except grocery shopping which my sister and I are going out to do today and hopefully I can pick up a bunch of stuff for lunch which will help me make lunch. I talked to some older woman yesterday on the phone about how home made meals are a lot more healther and while I should probably have been trying to end the call, I felt prompt to stay on the line since we both had the same thoughts on medications and how diet can really change your immune system for the better rather then forcing drugs down kids throats. ^^ She was such a sweet lady! She told me about Zinc and how it helps boost your immune system and that while healthy eating is just one thing, people need a balance too - can't relay on non-drugs, but she hasn't been sick at all and has worked in schools and daycare and for the most part avoided flu all except once a year. I was like - "YES! Exactly! That's how my year pans out and non of my family believe me that my new food habit and staying away from sick meds that have all the side-effects have made it this way!" - I know it's sappy, but I like people who are still in the old ways and content to listen to their grandparents and elders for home-made remedy's on common colds and stuff. Sleep and home cooking cure it - seriously.
It's really horrible how small my savings account has gotten threw christmas and really want to pay a bunch of that back with the pay from stat holiday pay as savings account is actually my 'travel money' account. Getting the second week of January is going to boost that right back up where I want it. I still have a credit card handy in case I do need it - not one that I can ever put a negative balance on this one though, so that's both a little descouraging and comforting at the same time. Might use that toward groceries and put in the order for Mat's christmas T-shirt for my next paycheck if it can't be covered by my other pre-paid card here. Yeah. More then enough to go without worrying. Not like I have anything to buy within the next week except soda and bus fare afterwards, so I'm not too afraid about running out - just a little worried that I won't be able to save up enough for March, even though that's a little stupid to think considering how much overtime I can put in from now until there and that my parents would gladly cover whatever I may come up short with and let me pay them back with my tax-return. ^^;; 12hours for 5days isn't hard at all and I am forced two days off a week that way too. That will get me about 400-5000 by march? No worrying about me burning out either. I don't think I could ever go back to a normal 8hour shift after working so much, I'm just used to being there and as crazy as it sounds I relaly love my job. I get to help people and the friends at work as just so much fun!
Anyway. Going off to work on manga pages today and then to the store. Can't wait to see Mat's face when he takes a gander and to get feedback from Dawn and Gayla too. First week of janurary we're taking a look into character designs for 'The Mechanic', which Mat is very amused by how excited I am for this. He won't email the sketches he has to me though since he wants to show it and discuss in person since it's a little more easier and we could always run out to the garage here if we need too.
Love you all
Your ever workaholic
Tashi.
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| eat this oliver |
[December 27, 2007] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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For anyone mislead by my previous journal. With the exception that I'm still a little sick this christmas everything is fine. I just needed to vetna f ew things out of my mind and none of it was aimed at anyone imparticular, except where it's blantantly obvious like in the case of Sarah beating up my kitten. ;;>>
News
I got my new camera working today and am now using the extra memory card that Trevor brought me in florida to take a gazillian videos and photos of everything that might interest me. I have load of time to waste taking pictures and buidling up a little video kingdom project for Kelly-Koi. I promised her I'd go around and take pictures/videos of my friends and hometown to show her and her family so can't wait to get out of the house!
Dad wants to take my camera down to his nascar race in feburary? Since it has the biggest memory card of all and I generally don't mind so long as he promises to use the wrist band. Also, I get to see Mat during the first week of january and start work on our new project 'The Mechanic?' I can't spell. Arg. Anyway, I promised to become illustrator for this in return for him helping out with scripting my story 'Unattainable' which is taking off amazingly fast with 'K.A' following a close behind. Mat's story actually had me enthrawled from the very start so I don't doubt there would ever have been a reason for me to say no to this. I put my other projects on hold temperarily [aka- forgot where I logged them.] to just work on these three. I work until 8pm tomorrow and then going to meet friends at Ye Old Stone and probably have my final day visiting Robyn. Going to be super sleep deprived since I'm awake now, but nothing a few energy drinks can't cure. Wish I wasn't so broken out due to this cold, but acne always seems to come around when the rare cold pops up or that horrible week of unmentionableness. Haha.
Throat is rare from coughing and I'm absolutely certain I sounded like a 4yr old squeakign on the phone before I left this evening. >> Pay tomorrow night though so I'm going to jump for joy and rush out to get feshy's final gift and make her the happiest and most spoil little sister in the world.
I'm happy, busy as all hell - but generally happy.
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| Backing up a half degree |
[December 27, 2007] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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( Read more... )
Sorry, but I want escape and I want to be free and not crushed by the people surrounding me. I understand that you only want what is best and are trying to protect me, even if that means something protecting me from myself. Trying to control my will and everything that happens under this roof will just leave me wanting to run away like Feshy desperately is trying to accomplish. I may not be the most outwardly goal-orientated or busy minded people about, but I have my own things to do and just want the world to back the fuck off and agree with me for a while.
I have a thousand things whirlign around in my mind and recently only a seldom few can get them to stop and for me to feel safe.
PSI cookie to whoever can name what character-muse-style this is written in.
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| BUNNIES |
[December 25, 2007] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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^______________________^
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[December 23, 2007] |
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mood |
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drained |
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So I've offically lost my voice. It's down that last last waspy little breaths when I wish my dad good dreams as he wanders off to sleep. Ic oould probably get it back long enough to muster threw my shift tomorrow if I really tried, but I want to rest and get over this brewing cold as soon as possible and maybe crunch it before it even hits. I want to see my grandparents and talk to my girlfriend without fear that I'm going to start a coughing fit. I hate taking time off with such a raging passion, espessially when I've set myself up to such a high goal - but personnally must think of my own health first and also the fact that if I can't talk I can't really DO anything at work anywhere. Least, not worth being paid for.
Ohwell. I want to see my friends. My grandparents and all other happy faces and more then anything else I want to beat that be-damned level on samuri-warriors once and for all. <<;;
I have a lot of work to do and life seems so full. I can't wait. I want to embrace this coming year with open arms and a trusting heart.
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[December 22, 2007] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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Because no one in my family will buy a christmas card to send out to our extended family, I end up making one. ^^;; It's ususally only given to my friends, grandparents, and anyone who wanders by the house this time of year. Though I'd share it with you guys since I do love you too.
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[December 21, 2007] |
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mood |
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loved |
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Even if I can only have a piece of your heart
that's enough for me
I'll fly on wings made of cardboard
to the further ends of the universe
if it means being able to see your smile bright and careless
Did you know
I love you so?
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